Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies) by Dececco Phd John

Author:Dececco Phd, John
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9781136579998
Publisher: Taylor and Francis
Published: 2013-04-03T04:00:00+00:00

THE GAY WAY

“Gay” implies a legitimation of a relationship that runs counter to family; therefore gay life does not exist in Pakistan in general, nor in Karachi in particular. From a practical standpoint, two lovers would find themselves without any social context. Unlike the fag-bashing response to same-sex relationships in the West, there is little such behavior here. There is no threat to family; there is, simply, irrelevance. At worst there is ridicule; at best, there is willful blindness to the situation.

Two lovers from different social classes would have to explain their togetherness at every juncture. If from the same social class, they would have to invent a family based “link” to justify their intimacy, such as: “I know him because he went to school with my brother, and he needed a place to stay, so we are living together.” This might superficially appear to be the same as in the West; however, the closed and relatively immobile nature of society in Pakistan makes such simple solutions remarkably difficult to implement. Inevitably, the “cover” provided by the excuse would be blown; the resulting embarrassment would “shame the family” and destroy the relationship.

Further, the lack of privacy in most living situations makes a personal relationship that is outside the norm impossible to maintain. In poorer households, space is shared. In wealthier families, servants provide the ultimate monitoring system, and it is impossible to maintain secrecy. If secrecy is crafted nonetheless, it has the inevitable effect of isolating and destroying the very relationship it was intended to protect.

Preventing “shame” or otherwise embarrassing the family is the most basic requirement for respectability; respectability is the basic requirement for social acceptance; and social acceptance is the oxygen without which life ceases to exist in any meaningful way. Therefore, the most enlightened Western-educated, liberal-radical, gay liberationist finds himself immobilized on return to the Motherland. To agitate would be to bite the hand (family) that feeds. To even attempt to launch a real revolution of gay liberation in Karachi is to tilt at windmills.

The most successful gay relationships in Karachi are quiet and heavily compromised. They are almost never the most important relationship for either partner; the family occupies that position. But deep affections do develop, though the long-term outcome is almost always a breakup, triggered by differences in family circumstances or demands. Human beings do tend to develop emotional bonds; in Pakistan these bonds either result in tragedy or unacceptable (to a Westernized sensibility) compromises to steal private moments of tenderness or sexual release. To the gay Pakistani, this is simply another of life’s compromises.

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